Spoken Word Poetry: Even When…May I Trust You

Hi everyone!

It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything, I know, and I’m sorry for the self-imposed hiatus and failing to answer any questions that might come with that. I’ve been unusually busy with work given the start of the school year in Maryland, to start, (I may not have mentioned I work for a school!) Additionally, external and internal conflicts within and without the context of work have been unusually distressing and confusing for me of late, so I focused on the conflict instead of my blessings, I realize. Finally, as working in a school or other educational/people-centered business often brings, yes, I’ve been sick a couple of times this year (mostly minor colds, though I don’t sicken often, so when I do, I get quite sick!). In fact, the last one necessitated my taking a sick day to heal properly!

That said, I apologize, ask pardon, and promise to write more often: two to three times a week minimum!

That in mind, the realization actually inspired the poem below, so it may be a short one. Hopefully, it will be enough to communicate my intentions and thought patterns. Above all, as always, may the glory go to God and the work point y’all to Him. God Bless, Michelle

 

Even When….May I Trust You

I’ve known the feeling of falling apart too often now

Not to wonder if my destiny is living with a heart

Broken, bruised, torn in some places, and in others scarred.

I wonder sometimes if life will get better or

Was I created to have to try harder-

That is, to have to try harder than others

To earn the love of God?

 

I know that’s not true, but I feel like it is sometimes-

That since I am lowly and God is high above me

I deserve not His grace and nor should receive His mercy.

That translates into “could,” as in, “I could never really,” I think….

Because I figure I’m not deserving, so no better than anybody

But they must be doing something or are something better, I think.

 

I wish answers, oftentimes, would appear from thin air

Concerning what my future holds, though I know life is not fair.

I remember that I’m not here for nothing and I have a purpose,

So that is a comfort, but sometimes leaves me questioning.

“Why, though, do I have to endure the wilderness first?”

“Why do others seem blessed continuously, whereas I remain athirst

For the blessings You promised, Lord, though I submit my life to Yours?”

I know, however, there is Someone Higher guiding me,

For His thoughts are not mine and His ways are best, I see.

After all, He created the universe, so as Creator and King,

Would He not, I recall, know His creation intimately?

Lord, I have only to come to the conclusion, then,

That You are Who You say You are, so better than

Anything I could ever be independently.

After all, You made and chose me by Your love and grace,

So given such mercy, I’ve nothing about which to complain.

Indeed, the God Who would sacrifice His life for me and arise

As promised would, logically, know well more than I.

 

So I surrender, Lord, to Your grace, mercy, and truth,

Praying only that, even in these, my darkest times, may I trust You.

 

 

 

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A Poem of Belief by a Jewish Prisoner in a Nazi Concentration Camp

WOW. For anyone going through a difficult time, lack of writing inspiration, apathy, what have you….here you are. I am praying for you as well and welcome any and all messages related to prayer requests, etc.

sairyd

I thought I’d share this poem that I found on the internet. It was written during WW2, on the wall of a cellar, by a Jew in the Cologne concentration camp.

“I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
And I believe in love,
even when there’s no one there.
And I believe in God,
even when he is silent.

I believe through any trial,
there is always a way
But sometimes in this suffering
and hopeless despair
My heart cries for shelter,
to know someone’s there
But a voice rises within me, saying hold on
my child, I’ll give you strength,
I’ll give you hope. Just stay a little while.

I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
And I believe in love
even when there’s no one there
But I believe in God
even when he is silent
I believe through any…

View original post 28 more words

Spoken Word Poetry: Fearless Faith (Taking A Page From Freddie Mercury): Part 2: The Poem Itself

Hi everyone!

To be honest, I’m surprised anyone got through any part of the previous entry at all without thinking, “This is too long; I can’t read this whole thing!” So, the short version is, essentially, is easy to sum up. Life has become too busy for me to sit down and write with full focus much of this summer and I have been going through other, confusing and painful struggles that are somewhat more personal and alluded to in the earlier post as well: Spoken Word Poetry: Fearless Faith (Taking A Page from Freddie Mercury) (Part 1: Introduction). That said, the life and legacy of the late Mr. Mercury and last week’s sermon at church on having life to the full, specifically as pertains to decision-making, got me thinking Life: Hacks: Hacking Decision-Making.

Now I understand what clicked and I’m putting the pieces together in this poem, in a way. I can’t live, much less do anything, on my own, anyway. After all, God made me for much more than to live a boring, mundane, and meaningless existence. Instead, He created me for much more and, well, I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t want that! That’s what this poem is about and, without further ado, I present the work below!

Fearless Faith (Taking A Page From Freddie Mercury)

To take a page from the playbook of someone who lacked belief

I admit, is uncommon for me, since he didn’t know peace.

(Or maybe he did, sometimes, it seemed? If I’m wrong, correct me.)

I hope I’m wrong and perhaps he died knowing the Lord of Lords, Jesus, My King,

Although Freddie Mercury lived, perhaps, not always sure what he believed.

 

Maybe I’m wrong, and, if I am, please correct me.

I don’t think it’s much of a stretch, though, to say he lived freely,

With confidence that what would come of him was always meant to be.

With one exception, that is, but even then he chose to break free

Of the early defeat he could have faced battling his disease.

 

Maybe I’m alone, but I’ve seen many in crisis call out to God

That the wills they once had to fight became completely lost.

 Wouldn’t fighting be better, since one could beat the odds?

Mr. Mercury did, and dying, proclaimed, “the show must go on.”

 

Wow! Thank You, God, for the reminder

 That, since my life is not done, you’ve a purpose.

Indeed, I remember now this struggle is just

Part of a bigger picture I have yet to see

And that my life may really just be beginning at almost thirty!

 

Lord, maybe this is bold of me, but bold I will dare to be

If a request to be bolder about living life brings you glory.

That is, I want to be like Abraham and Sarah, Mother Theresa,

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and many, many such others,

Looking at them as I do Mr. Mercury, seeing fearless faith.

 

Seeing their confidence and wishing for the same,

Lord, may my fears instead become faith and following Your Way.

Yes, Lord, lead me to choose the narrow gate every day

That I might open it and find Your best for me.

 

May I remember, though, that living this life won’t be easy,

But nothing, nothing, truly compares to Your calling –

A life lived in integrity based on You and your gift of fearless faith.

 

 

Interlude: Writer’s Block

I am almost done with the poem, folks, and trying to figure out how to finish it well. I find that when I have a feasible idea, especially one about which I am thinking for a long time after it comes up, writer’s block interrupts the flow of my work. What works best, fellow writers, to get around the block in question? Thank you!

Spoken Word Poetry: Fearless Faith (Taking A Page from Freddie Mercury) (Part 1: Introduction)

Hi everyone!

Maybe I have turned a corner after all since a counseling session brought some clarity to my current situation and I also understand my sister, Nicole’s current obsession with the music of the Britsh rock/pop band, Queen. By the way, I will call her by her nickname, Nicki, hereafter. Additionally, please bear with me since I know this introduction will be….long, but there is a lot of ground to cover. Thanks for reading this, especially if you have the kindness and patience to read it in its entirety.

For those who haven’t heard of Queen, check them out! For those who have, well, you are already acquainted with much, if not all, of their music, the personalities of the band members (especially that of the late Freddie Mercury, whose character did much to inspire this work, surprisingly!), and the Bohemian Rhapsody biopic coming out later this year.

In the session, to be clear, I talked about some family concerns, work struggles, etc., the feelings of fear and doubt I’d experienced in those and many areas of my life besides lately. In that time, and  and told my counselor, “I think I understand Nicki’s obsession with Queen now.”  For context, Nicki became obsessed with Queen around the time she first heard of the biopic, reconnecting us with our roots in classical music, country, pop, and classic rock in a new way. My initial reaction was to grumble concerning the realization that either I would become obsessed myself or I would hate Queen in response to Nicki’s obsession. (In fact, as I wrote this section of the blog, she modified “We are the Champions” and sang the modified version to her pup. Part of me wants to tell her to shush, the other is smiling and thankful for her love for Reilly since Reilly just came back from the vet and got a combination vaccine!)

That in mind, I became interested in the characters and psychology of Queen myself. After almost a year’s worth of mulling over what could be the reason behind my obsession with the character of Freddie Mercury, I hit on what most resonated with me this past week. . Nicki and I were watching the following video: Freddie Mercury – The Official Birthday Video, and I finally realized why I admired him so much and why he had a magnetic draw for many people during and after his career and death. Even with the strong language, smoking, foolishness (like calling himself a “musical prostitute- to me, there is nothing funny about human trafficking, though the jest was in sarcasm), and so on…..he was, well, authentic and transparent to a degree I don’t see in very many people nowadays. His raw candor and authenticity just…..resonated with me in a way that I finally realized that’s what I, personally, love most about him as a musician and I am sure I would have been very good friends with him if I had been born in the 1940’s or 1950’s myself.

He missed the point of living if he was not a Christian, yes, but his authenticity and transparency, with little to no fear of the days to come, were and remain inspiring. That, to me, is a hallmark of mature Christianity and what Jesus wanted for His people, after all! Proverbs 31:25, for example, says of the “wife of noble character,” “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” (NIV 2011) Additionally, the Message translation states that Jesus wants for us as follows:

Jesus resumed talking to the people, but now tenderly. “The Father has given me all these things to do and say. This is a unique Father-Son operation, coming out of Father and Son intimacies and knowledge. No one knows the Son the way the Father does, nor the Father the way the Son does. But I’m not keeping it to myself; I’m ready to go over it line by line with anyone willing to listen.

28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

“Living freely and lightly” sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? Part of Mr. Mercury’s draw was, I think, that he did so as well as a non-believer could do and gives many, I imagine, pause to consider what doing so as a Christian does or would mean, whether they are living like that.

How I wish Mr. Mercury had known that, if he didn’t. I pray he did and, frankly, his example has inspired me to write about that realization on Thursday and the counseling session today. Thanks be to God that He reminds us that “nothing is too hard [or difficult] for [Him],” according to Jeremiah 32:17, no matter what legitimate translation of Scripture you read! That certainly applies to living authentically and transparently, thus using the time we have on this Earth to seek out the Lord, grow close to Him, and impact the world for His glory and our good during our lives and after we are either in Heaven or Hell.

In conclusion, with that in mind, I will publish Part Two of this series of posts- the poem itself- tomorrow, as I am still writing it mentally and working out the best way to communicate what I mean clearly. Please pray about that for me and I will pray for y’all as well! Thanks, as always, and may God Bless you now and always!

Michelle

Spoken Word Poetry: Trying/Trusting

Hi everyone!

I hope you are well and I am back with new work, as promised.

This one will explain itself, I think, as it refers to the difficulty I mentioned in yesterday’s entry. Thanks for bearing with me!

Trying/Trusting

Endless thoughts of failure and fear plague my mind

As I question the current direction of my life.

To be frank, I feel like nothing is working and I have to keep trying

To find my way in this world and to fit in with it.

I know, though, that I was meant for something different.

Still, the loneliness I’ve felt sometimes gets crushing.

 

After all, I admit, this life is more confusing than I expected.

In any case, I know that I have to keeping trusting

That You, Lord, know what You are doing with it.

So I will follow you, no matter what the cost is,

Whether trying, trusting completely, or somewhere in between.

On Writing and Future Plans

Hi everyone,

It has been a long, long time since I’ve written, I know. I ask pardon and promise to write more in the future now that life is looking up after a long period of personal, though somewhat talked-of, struggles that would take days to cover here.  Suffice it to say, I have been feeling stuck and just now the creative juices, so to speak, are flowing again. As such, I feel like I can write more. After all, being in a season where I’m feeling stuck in certain aspects of my life has provided some excellent writing material, though I admit to feeling inspired rarely of late- to write, that is.

Thankfully, In fact, at this point, I expect to have something up by tomorrow and a related project in the works. Details to come!

Most importantly, I hope y’all are well and I have been praying for you no matter what your struggles, etc., are.

God Bless, Michelle