Hi everyone! I haven’t written in a while because I have been very busy with work, ironing out the beginnings of writing a book (see more here), and such as that, I’m back and have another poem I plan to add. This one’s mostly about going through some personal struggles and questioning what God has for me, but knowing I can trust Him, even though doing so can be- and often is- difficult to the human mind. At least, I know that has been my experience and it is easy to give into the temptation to think God doesn’t know what He is doing when our lives aren’t working out as we hope. That, for some reason, got me thinking this evening as I was considering my life as it has passed so far. After all, though I love God, love my family, love my friends, love my church community, find my job rewarding and am glad for my career path, have hobbies I enjoy, etc., I still have my questions about what the future holds for me.
As such, I’ve had a lot of questions about myself as a person and what my future will hold. Thus, I was inspired to write again, especially as today is World Poetry Day! Thanks to Nicole Czarnecki at The Nicole Factor . I appreciate the notice!
Without further ado, then, here is the poem I mentioned and I will also have more details on the manuscript for the book I am authoring if anyone is interested!
(P.S. Please pardon the formatting. Everything I have tried to fix it has failed for some reason! I will do my best to fix it and ask pardon!)
Facing the Unknown/Back to Square One
I have days I admit I can mundane and all the same like when
It’s six or seven o’ clock in the morning again
And I wake up wondering why I am here and what is my purpose?
I love what I do, which makes my work worth the doing, I say!
But, like anyone else, I wonder if where I am now is where I am called to stay
Or worse, was I meant to be somewhere else to start and I went my own way
Instead of seeking the God Who made me with all my heart and ordained all my days?
What if, instead, I am where I am meant to be and missing the bigger picture,
But get bogged down in the details of the everyday until that hurts?
Maybe there’s something in what I am doing that I am simply missing
And I just have to keep working, waiting, and praying concerning what I’ve been given.
I know all things will work for my good in the end, but I still have my questions!
For example, I believe my work is significant, but wonder, “Is all this worth it?
Am I living my everyday as I am meant to live, giving my everything I have
Working for my bosses as for the Lord, the Great I Am, that is?”
I confess I am as human as anyone else and sometimes feel like mundanity
Has been the result of my existence, awaiting the fulfillment of dreams of majesty.
Then I reflect on my God, my family, my friends, and the freedom of my country
And remember I am blessed, no matter what this life holds for me.
Of course, the cycle continues on to some weekends, however I find myself awakened,
Whether by sunlight on my face, alarm clocks, or puppy kisses.
Usually, I find myself waking early almost every morning then
And start the day praying, though battling life’s uncertainties again.
Then comes the inevitable: will I accomplish everything I had planned?
Will I find time out from housecleaning, bills to pay, and such as that?
Hopefully, I find myself thinking, I’ll spend quiet, focused time with God,
Take some time to share with my loved ones and snuggle up often with my pups.
That is, I find myself asking “Will life ever be less mundane than it seems at present
Even though I know my days are filled with good things and I have been blessed?”
After all, I doubt I’m alone in feeling that my everyday has moments of stagnancy
And wondering whether I am living my life well for the One greater than me.
I have my doubts sometimes about where I have been led and
Whether the life I have lived is making an impact, to be honest.
Right now, I admit, I am perplexed at best about how to manage.
At worst, I’m sometimes surprised I haven’t said, “All right, then,”
And found myself questioning all that I’ve come to believe in!
Very well, I know that the Gospel truth of my God is what it is
And the One Who is Faithful will never break His promises.
Even when I face the unknown, then, and find that my progress
Has put me back on square one again, still He is with me, no matter what’s next.
Whatever this life holds, in conclusion, however it changes
Be it life holds new relationships, income, travel destinations,
Career changes, new studies, greater wisdom and revelations,
Whether the mundane stays the same or becomes majestic,
Perhaps I am the problem in my life and need a change in perspective.
Something about realizing that the unknown is not mine to know, though,
Is, I confess, refreshing, although I admit often to a fear of the unknown.
Perhaps I am stuck in this cycle because I need to know more how to listen
To the voice of my God and to keep believing that all He says, He will do yet!
I know that facing the unknown and being on square one sometimes is not the end;
Rather, every time I find myself here is an endless second chance to start afresh
And live better for the rest of my life, for eternal impact and significance.
To God be the glory in all things, to Him forever and ever, then!
In the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen!