Hi, everyone!
That might be an unusual title, but, considering the nature of the musings I found myself having while I did some genealogical research, I imagine that perhaps my musings may turn out to be slightly morbid, if not downright macabre. For a Christian, perhaps, it is inappropriate, yet I find that reflecting on the brevity of life also reminds me of the hope I have in the Lord!
To be more specific: When I was approximately eight years old, I became aware of the existence of the American poet Edgar Allan Poe. Most of my readers will have heard the name, at least, and some may be better acquainted with his work than many fans, including devoted ones like me. Very well; I write of him because Mr. Poe, in fact, became the concluding topic of my musings for the evening.
As it is, especially for those who know me personally, I was and remain an avid reader. In fact, I was exposed to literature and history from the time I was very young- at the earliest, Mom read aloud to my twin sister Nicole and me from birth. We also had ample exposure to cloth-bound/teething-toy books and similar, reading-related items that one might give to a child to entertain and cultivate a love of reading in said child today. I suppose this experience and many others as I grew cultivated my love of reading and made me a a bona fide bibliophile by the time I was four years old. That, I don’t remember, but I do remember meeting my first-grade teacher during the initial registration meetings at my elementary school and barely introducing myself to her before striding straight to the classroom bookshelf and picking up the first book that piqued my interest! Understandably, my mother was embarrassed and admonished me to come back over to the classroom desks to converse with my teacher further. Six-year-old me informed her that I was busy reading, much to the mortification and amusement of thirty-something-year-old me today!
I also remained an avid reader as I aged, becoming a curious and, later, devoted fan of the aforementioned Mr. Poe- or should I say Uncle Edgar? In the course of receiving a collection of his poems for my reading enjoyment – or perhaps a discussion about family history, as I forget which; maybe the two simultaneously?- my mother mentioned a family legend in passing. That is, we had reason to believe that we might be related to Mr. Poe’s foster father (more or less adoptive father, informally, from my understanding of the process). John Allan, we believed, was my fifth-great-uncle or something to that effect.
Only years later did Nicole, my aforementioned twin sister, clarify the connection to Mr. Allan through her own genealogical research. She started searching for confirmation of our Jewish heritage when we were fourteen, thanks to her involvement in Jews For Jesus at the time. Reading their biography and characteristics of a Messianic Jewish home and upbringing, she wondered if we might be Jewish, even though we were raised as and are still Christians. Surely enough, we are of Jewish heritage: up to a quarter Jewish, so Jewish, I believe. I’m not sure of the exact percentages, though. That, by itself, was of interest, but it didn’t deter me from pestering Nicole, said sister, to verify whether the legend of our relationship to John Allan was true!
I would find out that it was true while writing a college essay, of which I forget the topic, at 2:30 a.m. the day Nicole confirmed and clarified our relationship to Mr. Allan. A total of eight years’ worth of genealogical research yielded that John Allan is, in fact, my fourth-great-grandfather through one of his de-legitimized children. (I refuse to describe children born out-of-wedlock as “illegitimate” since no child is illegitimate!) She also mentioned a letter Mr. Allan wrote to a friend upon hearing from a former mistress of one of his de-legitimized twins dying from illness when they were two years old. This wasn’t the only time he’d have children, or twins for that matter, by a mistress! He He had the aforementioned twins during his first marriage to Frances Keeling Valentine Allen, and he would do it again! FindAGrave.com mentions twins he had by an Elizabeth Wills in 1830 after he married his second wife!! He was remarkably cruel in his reflections to his friend on finding out about the death of the twin child in this first known pair. Specifically, he informed his friend that he had no interest in seeing the twin who was still living or paying respects to the twin who had gone Home to the Lord. I haven’t been able to find the letter myself, but remember the discussion Nicole and I had vividly!
In any case, I felt that explained why I’d felt a kinship with Edgar Allan Poe since I was eight years old and first read that aforementioned anthology of his work. I realized that we had similar backgrounds (not exactly honest and warm parent-child relationships with our fathers- I’ll leave it at that!), had similar interests (arts, history, theology, etc.), and such as that already. Not only, I realized, was the kinship that I’d always believed existed real, but much closer than I thought it was! I figured Edgar Allan Poe was a distant cousin by his de facto adoption and that was neat by itself. Knowing that the connection was much closer and that he was, for all intents and purposes, family explained a lot about the kinship I felt with him, deepened that sense of kinship, and cemented my interest in him and his work. I figure that, since I’m essentially his third-grandniece as a result of his adoption into my family, however informal it may have been, and that we have very similar minds (creative, philosophical, theological, artistic, and deeply emotional in our thinking!)! As such, the renewed interest and further reading this evening gave rise to macabre (?) musings.
I say that, in turn, gave rise to macabre musings because it really did. Maybe morbid. I’m not sure which unless thoughts about the far (?) future and thinking of death and dying come to mind. Perhaps we take an interest in our own mortality and often either revere or fear the concept because we either have hope and await the Lord eagerly- or not. I am a Christian, so have hope!
Goodness, I’ve written much already and it is late, so will elaborate on this tomorrow!
God Bless,
Michelle
Musings on Life from A Work In Progress : Living Life On The Straight and Narrow 